Bits and pieces

Yoga and Flexibility

Is being physically supple an essential criteria for someone setting out on the path of yoga?

I have been practising yoga since 1972 -- back then I started classes with BKS Iyengar in the UK. I count myself very lucky to have been taught by him then because Iyengar was a relatively unknown yoga teacher, which meant the classes were small and relatively personal.

One of the most important aspects of yoga I have learnt over these years, and I put aside a certain amount of time to practice yoga every day, is that stiffness is an essential part of what yoga is. Even at its essence, the physical, neurological, limits we reach when practising a posture/asana, is like a barometer from which we can gauge how and how not to work a posture/asana. I believe these parameters are the gateway to the soul.

In my experience, how we do yoga is more important than whether we can bend backwards, or reach our toes in a forward bend for example. Whether one is, or is not flexible is not yoga -- If we are constantly competing with other people, or measuring ourselves against ourselves, to see how far we can stretch in a posture/asana, then this is more akin to a competitive sport than it is to yoga.

The word 'yoga' is derived from the Sanskrit root 'yuj', which means Union -- the union of the body, mind, emotions and intellect.

Certainly with practice you will see many physical benefits and perhaps eventually touch your toes, or even get into the lotus position; but this doesn't mean that when you reach your flexible goal, you are at one with the physical and psychological body, the universe, or indeed the great sea of consciousness.

Yoga helps us to see, feel and realise the physical, material plane, joining with the spiritual -- in this true sense it is the union of the individual self with the universal self.

When working a posture/asana, the body and mind are opening up a dialogue. The combination of muscular movement and nervous system relays signals to the brain, telling us exactly how and where we are in our body and where the body is in space. This interchange is the beginning of two separate states uniting to become one. This physiological and psychological coming together, sees the cessation of the chattering mind and unveils the true beginning and foundation of yoga.

It could be seen that when we are walking towards our destination our back leg is in the past and the front leg in the future, with the torso and the head, in the present. But you could see walking another way! You could say that we are not leaving the past and going towards the future, but merely moving through the present, from one place to another and then we could take this a little further by seeing everything in the past and future as in the present -- anything that has seemingly past away has merely changed or evolved into another form of matter.

In yoga the idea is to join all the dimensions of the body together, thus becoming one with the present, it is then that the beauty of what is now, who we really are, can be taken in. This isn't difficult, but at the same time it involves looking deeply into who and what we are. This is not analysing, but more to do with observing; observing without judgment as to how we are, how our breathing is, how the muscle contracts and expands along with the nervous system.

By observing, working with the body, fully, with alertness, awareness, we learn how to release the tension and bring life, where there might otherwise be a mind-set that is conditioned into closing us down.

With continued practice, as well as becoming subtler, the relationship between the body and our awareness becomes increasingly animated and in so doing has the capacity to find its true place in the all-singing, all-encompassing unfathomable now. To refine this song of songs still further, means the tautness is essential, just as the strings of the violin bow can only play the right note if the strings are just so, neither to tight nor too lose.

Dyslexia, Schooling and Pyramids

Looking at how dyslexia is perceived in today’s world, from the viewpoint of a dyslexic.

Dyslexia is a hook, which I know very well.

It’s telling, how easily the label becomes a prominent hook on which to hang all our numerous problems.

In the accepted sense of the word you would say that I'm dyslexic, profoundly so. By the same token, as the Joneses see it, you might say that I have a profound problem being dyslexic. This is not so.

If we are at ease, relaxed with the hook/front/label, or mask of dyslexia, in its entire colourful array, it isn’t, in my opinion, a problem; in fact very much the opposite, dyslexia becomes an asset.

For the moment let’s look at how dyslexia is seen by the majority of parents, teachers and educational experts now, today. In most scholastic avenues, dyslexia is perceived to be a negative barrier, which stops us from learning. And I want to look at this perception, from the dyslexic’s viewpoint, methodically and extremely carefully.

Before I continue, it is not my intention to belittle the intense prejudices that dyslexics so often encounter within educational establishments and indeed the marketplace. For all its elusive characteristics, dyslexia is a very real front. My problem isn't with the front though, and nor do I believe it so for any other dyslexics. The problem for the dyslexic, if and when there is a problem, begins and really ends with what's going on behind, underneath, on top and in front of this hook/front/label/mask.

If we are really serious in wanting to relinquish ourselves from this so called problem of dyslexia, then I think it’s imperative to look at the mask/hook/label from all sides; and I mean from the teacher’s, expert’s, parent’s and the dyslexic’s. Sadly, we are threatened by this approach, because this usually means facing a cauldron of fear, and in some cases, bucket loads of unadulterated terror. Because of the intense prejudice attached to this deeper resolution, relinquishing ourselves from fear is extremely hard. It’s a no-win situation; unless that is we go in the opposite direction and celebrate, welcome our dyslexic as an intricate and respected part of the fold.

Again, as with looking into our ingrown fears, a reason to celebrate our dyslexia is perceived by most parents and teachers as being synonymous for time wasting and weakness too. God help us, this resolve might see the experts as being out of a job and we can't have that!

I was born and brought up in a city, synonymous for learning and learned people. Both my parents were predominantly academic. In our neighbourhood, there were housed some of the most respected scholars in the kingdom. This was post-war Briton and as with a lot of families at that time, my parents wanted to live in a household of collective principles and see their children educated through the state school system. On paper this all sounded fine.

I failed a ridiculous exam, called the 11+ and ended up going to a secondary school in the nether regions of the city. And when I look back at how I was treated, I am appalled: segregation, racism, homophobia and all the other phobias spring to mind. It wasn’t just the beatings, or grappling with the other boys, (who I have to add after a year or two of playing the classroom idiot became very close friends), along with the constant humiliation for not passing the latest test, it was the environment in which I was brought up that I believe left the biggest scar on my emotional landscape. But this is something to address on another occasion, let’s just stick to the case in hand. At time of writing, I have been very fortunate in liberating myself from the shackles of shame and embarrassment, associated with not being able to read and write in the so called normal accepted sense.

I discovered, or at least really admitted to being dyslexic when I reached my 53rd year. At first I was filled with euphoria. The hook/front/label gave some short-term understanding for my pitiful position on the academic ladder. Then, not long after the euphoria, the anger exploded into the room, huge amounts of steaming vitriolic anger.

If you are lucky, as I have been, (yoga, acting, therapy and a loving wife helped to pave the way) and you are prepared to do the groundwork, with a real and honest sense of awareness, there is every possibility the anger will subside. In its place comes a deeper, wiser understanding of anger, revenge, war and the cause and cessation of this loaded and often uncontrollable emotion. But in order to get to this place of insight, we have to allow ourselves to look into the true source of this tangible fury.

Anger in its various colours, light and dark shades, is a palpable emotion, underlined by corresponding amounts of fear. By admitting to the broad base of fear underling my anger, I was able to gain a fundamental control over it. Once I began admitting that fear was the master emotion in my life, the anger was much easier to handle and indeed lost its dominant hold over me. In the short term, this release brought on a deep emotional collapse. Over time however, through yoga, acting and therapy – in that order – I was able to regain a confidence, not a wilful confidence, but a relaxed dignified confidence.

Let's just say, for example, that I can't spell the word twelve. If I don’t have a problem with being dyslexic, it really isn't an ordeal to ask a colleague, or indeed a stranger how you spell the word. If I can simply say in passing, ‘excuse me, how do you spell twelve’, without any loaded feelings of inferiority, in a light-hearted vein, without any fear of any repercussions, there is absolutely, no problem. If however, I have learnt to be ashamed, fearful, full of embarrassment, about spelling this word, or the other, it is then that I'm in trouble.

When I left school I started off with nothing, no PhD’ S, no BA’s, no O’s or A-levels, absolutely nothing. I learnt, as I went through life. It has to be said that there were many more openings and opportunities then. There were more job prospects. Grants for colleges were easier to come by. If you wanted to be an actor, or an artist of any sort, a place could open itself up in one of the numerous drama schools, music, or art academies, without the need for qualifications. If you were talented they gave you a place, simple as that. It is without question a lot harder now and a tougher world in that respect.

Because I had it easier, this doesn’t mean that I don’t know how the bat and ball of dyslexia works in the modern world, believe me I know from first-hand, horse’s mouth, experience.

Which brings us to the fundamentals; we constantly perceive dyslexia to be an endemic problem. A problem that isn’t just about our inabilities with spelling, reading, writing and mathematics, but about what we are as human beings. Yes, the prejudice in relation to dyslexia is still as rife as it is ridiculous.

The problem becomes a problem when teachers, ministers of education, school psychologists, parents, elders and all the experts, are 1000% convinced that getting to the head of the queue and passing tests is the most important part of our schooling. The life-saving, essential link to living in the shark infested waters of the real world. This I believe is fundamentally wrong, and in my opinion where schooling, (not education, for education is what we all have, whether we sit in a classroom or not) skids off the rails wildly and with huge implications. It is still an unbelievable fact that schooling measures children by their achievements and basically endorses those who don’t fit in, to sit a long way off from any hope. With our place in the competitive league tables, held up as the main reason for going to school, the basic emotional language of ‘getting to the top’, for fear of not fitting in and not succeeding, is what we learn to take out into the world. Which means, because of the needs of a select few, most of us misfits are funnelled into the bottom of the pile, where the need for fodder is paramount in keeping the pile afloat; a pile, which is, as the years roll by, getting larger and larger.

And the Pile Is a Pyramid

It stands to reason then, that if we live in a pyramid-based society the broadest part of this structure is where the weakest and the poorest stand. It's all been said before, so many times, but let us make this clear, without those of us at the bottom, the pyramid wouldn't hold up. We need the losers. Schooling, through a thin veil of well-wishing, basically sets out to propel us to our allotted place in the pyramid. To this end, many of us leave school with one mission in mind, to get to the highest place in the corporate pile, to the top of pyramid ladder. Let's face it though, the majority of us never get anywhere near the top, we just flail around at the bottom, or if we’re ruthless, determined, lucky enough, somewhere in the middle.

I am spelling it out from a clearheaded, dyslexic's viewpoint. Schooling, as it invariably has in previous generations, sow's seeds for a fear-based society. Whatever the experts may think, however good the intentions, if teachers are trained, or indeed brainwashed into getting their pupils through school, for that coveted place in the pyramid, they are being forced to separate their students, like wheat from the chaff. This desperate separation, primarily geared up for getting results, creates a huge rift and in my opinion, is basically drilling a feeling of conflict ever deeper into our communal psyche.

This piece is written using a microphone and voice recognition software.

matthew scurfield

Drama, Dyslexia and Self-esteem